Unorthodox “Being Green” Technique #1 – Grow a Beard

Not everyone has the time and dedication to climb a redwood tree and squat until those trying to chop it down agree to negotiate. Nope, many of us are just regular folks looking for easy but effective ways to reduce our carbon footprint or use less non-biodegradable products in our everyday life. Following this vein, I will occasionally be offering unorthodox ways anyone with a functioning brain and conscience can help our planet.

While the suggestion for this week is “Grow a beard,” many people, for professional, religious or other reasons simply can’t entertain this option. In deciding what is best one must consider all the options:

Disposable Complete Razor – Worst option, energy and chemicals are used to manufacture and they are practically impossible to recycle. When they end up in landfills or being incinerated, noxious air pollution is released

Disposable Blades – Not quite as bad, but you’re still chucking plastic and metal in the trash, not to mention spending a small fortune on the razor heads.

Electric Razor – Better still but now you’re dealing with electricity consumption (albeit minimal) and the drawback of a potentially rough shave.

Straight Razor – Now you’re talking, just like Grandpa used to get from the barber and the closest shave you can get. The biggest drawback is that you need experience wielding one of these instruments or you might end up looking like Tony Montana. Once you’ve mastered the steady hand, all you need is a sharpening tool and some lather and your face will be smoother than Sade drinking Johnnie Walker Blue in a satin robe .

Grow a Beard – No razor needed for shaving, no lather needed for the lubrication, no water required for the pre-wash and post-rinse, no toilet paper for the inevitable nicks, no wasted glass for the Preferred Stock scented after-shave balm and the added satisfaction of knowing the hair on your face is more than just a manifestation of laziness or a means of concealing your identity.

(Writer’s Note: Growing a beard is also a good way to deal with the recession, as long as you’re already employed)

Posted by: Nick